two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
