There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
