I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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