all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
