Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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