I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
