Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
