that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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