he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
