You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
