In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Green mimosas i think yes
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
