no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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