the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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