All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
