Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
