Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
