note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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