HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
