the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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