So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just tell him i said nine months
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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