4 words: hood of his car
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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