fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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