no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
