Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
