What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
