why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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