we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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