break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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