six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
