so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
