I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Drake has all the answers
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
