Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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