I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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