I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
