Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
