I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
