Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
