Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
