woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
