You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
