He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
