Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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