I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
