So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
