i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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