He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
