North Korea, Best Korea!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
