do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
