I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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