you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
