I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
