So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
