They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
