The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
