Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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