I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
