I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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