Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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