i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Cover your peen. We're going out.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
