I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
