Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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